59, Going On 60!

Please read this to the END.

One of the nicest things I had said to me recently was during a supervision meeting.

‘How old are you?’ I was asked.

‘59’ I replied.

‘Wow’, the gentleman replied, ‘you present as much younger’.

And as my wife has taught me, because before I’d have poo poo’ed it, I just replied, ‘Thank you’.

It’s one of those moments I hang onto when life is difficult, and anxiety is threatening to rise up engulf me. When belief and my purpose seems like an uphill struggle that is too hard to endure.

Another one is that my car ‘blue’ waited for me. He spent eight months sitting alone on that forecourt until I was ready for him. Especially significant when my old car ‘grey’ sold within hours of getting his spot on the forecourt.

‘Really’ you say, in disbelief, ‘your car waited for you?’

Now there’s the thing, belief. I’ll write that in capitols, BELIEF.

You’ll have heard the cliché, ‘What you believe is what you’ll receive’, and that’s why anxiety is so hard sometimes. It hits you right where your power to make change and do things sits. Especially when you can see the bigger picture, but obstacles keep getting thrown in the way, and they mount up one by one and that bigger picture seems to be vanishing into the horizon.

It gets hard to be resilient and keep turning knock backs into positives. However, that’s what I will do. That’s what I am.

If you have read ‘the Three Year Pond’, you’ll know that’s what I do.

So, why am I writing this, here, now?

Well, firstly, because I need to, it helps. Thing is, the bigger picture I mentioned is getting closer and more real. Hopefully you’ll have heard about ‘Slow the Mind’ the CIC I am setting up. We should exist any day now, Companies House willing. The formation of our Community Interest Company will be life changing, but there’s more.

In September I will be walking the Penine Way. Initially, it was because I will be 60 in October. There’s that thing, again, right now I’m 59 and today I feel it. The penine way is 221 miles long so would be a challenge any way. I am going to do this carrying my world on my back.  The pack will be heavy. My knees are dodgy, that will make it even more of a challenge because I am going to have to be really careful. There’s an MRI in the system to find out whats going on there, but no date yet, and we know how fast the NHS move. My father did give me his walking pole many years ago. That will be coming with me.

Sometimes reality starts to bite. The tasks required to achieve success seem to be mounting and once previously open doors seem to be shutting, and it’s hard to stop making prejudgements based on small amounts of information.

It’s at these times that you have to look at the positives and focus on them and the first place to start is yourself. I have written before about creating the self-image that you aspire to be and make decisions based on that mental avatar would do.

Well right now mine would stand up and step forward.  That’s what I am going to do.

The Penine Way walk has grown in magnitude. It’s more than just a walk for me. It became a walk to raise awareness and funds for mental health, mental health in particular meaning anxiety, because I know about that not so little beasty. And then a friend introduced me to the Baton of Hope.

Yes, I’ve said it before, the BATON of HOPE is coming with me.

That’s massive, that’s another reality I cling to. We are also promoting their message, ‘making suicide prevention everyone’s business’.

However, there’s so much to do between now and then.

Can you help?

The target to raise is £30K. I’d love to not just reach it, but smash it.

Can you help put the word out there?

Can you help raise funds in anyway at all for sponsorship?

Do a daft activity, hold a raffle or coffee morning, or other event.

Do you know people in a better position to spread the word. People in the press, or on radio, or have celebrity status that would like to get involved.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.

If you can help in any way, thank you.

I can come and speak to groups, especially for a donation, and will help out in any way that I can.

Let’s do this.

Help me do this.

Simon Pollard Urban Countryman April 2024